Poem: Apathy is Easy

Has become a way of life
For me recently

There can’t be an easy way
You can’t please them all
But still
I keep doing this stupid dance
Of keeping everyone happy
When I’d much rather
Run away
And be me

But I forget who I am anymore
Not me
Just what people think is me
Want from me
Take from me
I keep giving
Because that’s the right thing do
Isn’t it?

I’ve given up
Trying to smile for now
It’s another way
You think I care
While I smile and wave
And pretend it’s all good
It isn’t
When I go to sleep at night

You have comfort
False sense of security
I sit here restless
Using brushes as outlets
Because the drugs don’t do it anymore

I wish I were numb
And dumb
It wasn’t rewarding
But at least it was an excuse
And I wouldn’t be battered
Because I’d do it myself

Apathy is easy
Just not for me

©2015 James Takeo

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