Poem: What The Fuck am I Doing?


There is an inner darkness
You’ve mistaken for a light
It does not shine in day-time
But burns into the night
It is what once some loved
That now has turned to hate
Discarding my memories
For us, it is too late
Hate me and then love me
Laugh, fear, and respect
I didn’t want this to happen
This is not what I expect
Standing on a wire
Lonely at the top
Breathlessly await my fall
Wait for all this to stop
Every night there’s nothing
Just moon and insects sing
Dread and wonder for next day
The joy and horror that it brings
Every night I’m no one
Suffer silent in the crowd
Hiding in limelight
Feeling shame while I am proud
Even though these things are good
Nothing I’d meant to last
Even these, the greatest times
Will turn into the past

©2013 James Takeo

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